Story People

Have you seen these? It's artwork by a guy
named Brian Andreas.
They make me smile...

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been a while...

It has been a while since I last posted and many things have changed since then- things I will explain t some other time. Why is it that as soon as I start to seek balance in my life that my stability becomes a much harder thing to hold on to?

In other thoughts....
John Wilson is apparently trying to read 52 books this year, and as I am a voracious reader i thought I might try to do the same. I must warn you that I do not have very high ideals of what should or should not be read, so my tastes are a bit eclectic and perhaps bizarre.

What I have currently read:
1. Mansfeild Park- a good book if you really really like Jane Austin or have very little to do and are bored out of your mind.
2. The Taking by Dean Koontz - it was okay- Mr. Koontz has a great grasp on the greater meaning of a story, but sometimes the details are a bit silly.
3. Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz- an excellent book- really draws you into the story and the overal theme is very well developed, but still subtle.
4. By the light of the moon by Dean Koontz- yes I did get on a bit of a streak- it wasn't oo bad- fun reading for a girl who used to love star trek.
5. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maude Montgomery- Can you believe that i had never read this? And that the whole book can be read online?
6. Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery
7. Anne of the Island by L. M. Montgomery
8. Anne's House of Dreams by L. M. Montgomery

Hmmm- as you can see I am about four (close to five) books behind the expected schedule. However, I must point out that I read the last four int he last week. I have been a bit homebound because my poor car (mustang Sally) may have decided to die for once and all. Online books have been easier to come by.

If you kmnow of any other wonderful books in the public domain, please feel free to refer them to me. Also, if you have any books you would like to recommend, UPS, DHL and Fedex all know how to get to my house and I can purchase them on Amazon. Of course my Amazon list has been growing lately...

Random IM conversation with Holly: toes are important...

Chara says:
What's Betty doing???

holly says:
betty is working at her desk eating gummy bears

Chara says:
I want some gummy bears

holly says:
they are good
holly says:
i've had 20

Chara says:
I used to bite their little heads off and stick the on other headless bears . If you lick them they stick together

holly says:
hehe

Chara says:
MMMM

holly says:
they stick to the ceiling too

Chara says:
? are there lots of bears on the ceiling?

holly says:
but you have to get them really wet first

holly says:
haha no but they do stick.

Chara says:
gross

holly says:
haha

holly says:
was your meeting at 11:30?

Chara says:
yes, I met with myself (Ha ha!)

Chara says:
she said 11:30 her time

Chara says:
So I'm not siting here for nothing.

holly says:
hehe

Chara says:
I talked to KM by the way- she's going to the dr. for a cortisone shot

holly says:
ohhhh for what?

Chara says:
Her thumb is all swollen for osme reason and she can't use that hand

holly says:
OMG her thumb???

holly says:
that seems silly

Chara says:
it does, but your thumb is very important

holly says:
of course! you can't flush the toliet witout it

Chara says:
It's sort of like your big toe- it seems like no big deal, until you can't get your balance- or flush the toilet. Personally I use my big toe to flush.

holly says:
HAHAHHAAHHA

Chara says:
then I don't get Josh's germies

holly says:
but he gets toe fungus!

Chara says:
he should wash his hands

holly says:
heheh... do you wash your feet when your done?

Chara says:
no- I wear shoes
Chara says:
most of the time

holly says:
ohhh then your not relaly using your big toe, but your sole of your shoe

Chara says:
true- but if I didn't have my big toe I wouldn't be ablet o balance properly and i would fall while trying to flush and probably bang my head on the bathtub... no one is here all day so I'd probably bleed to death. Toes are important.

The end of the day

Many things affect the way we think about ourselves. A while back I had a whole post about the weirdness I felt in the changes my body had undertaken, and I feel very similarly about my hair. I can't quite say why it is that hair can affect us so much. It's an odd thing. It both decorates and sheilds us from the world around us. without it there is a sense of being naked- of others being able to see more of what is inside our head without having our hair to hide it- or to hide behind.

In Johnson City I had a friend who came to Bible study occasionally. We were talking about trying circumstances one night and she told us all about how she shaved her head (I think it was on a dare, or bet) when she was in High School and how she had to deal with some major depressive issues afterward. It was as if a part of her had been violated- and worse, she did it to herself, and could not take it back.

In the process of dealing with life changes (moving, weird work situation, isolation, sudden availability of my family, the sudden reality of non-school related life) I think I find it all the more disturbing that I have lost my curtain to hide behind. I like things orderly and neat and this haircut is anything but- in both style and in it's affect on my routine. This is disturbing to me because I'm meeting all sorts of new people and making new impressions and trying to find a whole new support system. It's scary for me.

So I'm seeking balance- a positive outlook to balance my dread of being in public with (yet another) reason to feel self-concious.

Chara

Bad Haircut

Okay- yesterday, right out of the salon it wasn't so bad. I actually laughed about it.

However. As time passes I am starting to realize that there isn't anything I can do with it. I look like a boy who badly needs a haircut and i can't curl it or makeit lay down. Who knew my hair had body? Not me! Well, all I had to do was chop enough of it off and now it stands straight up.

And by the way- I am pouting.



This was after an hour or so of trying to make it do something normal. Urgh.

Convicted

Well, I have been- as the name of this post suggests- convicted.

I was reading Jeremy's blog and I realized that I have not been writing in a long time. Over the last few years inspiration has come sporadically to me- occasionally it will politely request my attention and at other times it just stands behind me and hums loudly. I have ignored it more often than not.

I have a friend who started his blog with the intention of posting a new piece of original writing every day (I would put a link on here but Jones is currently living in Louisiana cleaning up after Katrina's tantrum.) Some of it was thought provoking, some of it less than- but the point is that he had an excercize in mind and he disciplened himself so that he could grow.

I am a little peeved at myself for not having realizd why I am finding it so difficult to establish balance (I hadn't really posted anyhting on how that little resolution was going, but I have to say that it's not going well... much change tends to create disequilibrium, and make it difficult to establish balance) in my life. It just hit me while reading aforementioned blog that I have always been the most mentally healthy when I have been writing. It's part of creating emotional and mental balance for myself- I have a tendency to live largely within myself- writing allows me to live more externally.

So- I'm not exactly going to write some new piece on here every day, but if i don't produce something at least once or twice a week- you should all start to harass me!

Personality Revisited...

So Karen sent us all the Personality profiles that we took- I knew some of what I got, but Karen and her husband apparently created a computer program that more accurately pinpoints personality types. So, Karen spent a portionof the morning going over our personality types and talking about our roles and what we are best suited for.

last time I said that i used to be an INFP- and I did. However, after talking to Karen I think that what I really am is an ISFJ. I started reading through the ISFJ and I think it describes me much better than the INFP does (now).

If you know what your personality type is I suggest that you go here: http://bsm.securesites.com/portraits.html
and look through the relationships section, the personal growth section.

Some things I found particularly interesting about myself:

• Excellent organizational capabilities (Something I am learning about myself)
  
• Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money (So true!)
  
• Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships (Absolutely)
  
• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism (No Comment)
  
• Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside. (I'm actually getting better at this!)
  
• Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship and difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship
  
• May be unable to shrug off feelings impending disaster. (there have been instances when this has been bizarrely true)
• You are adept at seeing the right balance, the best way to make the world look and feel good. This talent enables you to make your world reflect your inner self and become a place of security and growth in which others can feel at ease too.
• You see clearly what is right and wrong, what grates on yourself and others, what works for harmony and what does not. Your clear recognition of these things gains you the confidence and respect of others.
• Within yourself you know, even if others do not realise it, that for as long as they are trying to do their best, you will hold the line with them to the very end. You see this as simply doing the right thing, but in fact it is a special virtue and makes you one of the most worthy of partners and friends when the chips are down. (I sometimes wonder if this is not a downfall)

I am very interested in what other people find out about themselves- see reflected of themselves.

Circle of Doors

After reading Laura's post I remembered a poem I found a few days ago. I was looking for a copy of the Rootabega Stories by Carl Sandburg (Blixie Bimber grew up looking- looking for LUCK!) and then I distracted myself looking for a poem I found in Laura's Sandburg Collection once. I never found that poem but I found this one...

Circle of Doors

I LOVE him, I love him, ran the patter of her lips And she formed his name on her tongue and sang And she sent him word she loved him so much, So much, and death was nothing; work, art, home, All was nothing if her love for him was not first Of all; the patter of her lips ran, I love him, I love him; and he knew the doors that opened Into doors and more doors, no end of doors, And full length mirrors doubling and tripling The apparitions of doors: circling corridors of Looking glasses and doors, some with knobs, some With no knobs, some opening slow to a heavy push, And some jumping open at a touch and a hello. And he knew if he so wished he could follow her Swift running through circles of doors, hearing Sometimes her whisper, I love him, I love him, And sometimes only a high chaser of laughter Somewhere five or ten doors ahead or five or ten Doors behind, or chittering h-st, h-st, among corners Of the tall full-length dusty looking glasses. I love, I love, I love, she sang short and quick in High thin beaten soprano and he knew the meanings, The high chaser of laughter, the doors on doors And the looking glasses, the room to room hunt, The ends opening into new ends always.

Personality...

Karen had us take a personality Profile... ths is what it said about me.

ISFZ - "The Provider"

Introverting/Sensing/Feeling/organiZing. It is believed that approximately 6% of the population shares the ISFZ Type. Thus it is possible that 94% of the people you meet are experiencing some facets of the world differently than you do. Hardworking, thorough and responsible, the ISFZ is the Rock of Gibraltar for friends, family and co-workers. People can lean on you for assistance with good cause. The combination of Introversion, Sensing and organiZing forms a mighty foundation of stability and trust. You will never undertake any enterprise or go into any relationship impulsively or frivolously, nor will you forsake it for
any but the soundest and most well documented reasons. You are a permanent resident of the
here-and-now, continually comparing today's data with what you collected yesterday and all the yesterdays before. You are capable of integrating an enormous number of facts to formulate plans and take action.
An ISFZ has the outlook of a traditionalist, one who believes in structure, responsibility and rules for living. You are happiest when living a well-defined life, both at home and at work. You want to know where things are and when events will happen. ISFZs appreciate a predictable environment and are patient and comfortable with routine. You have a realistic view of what you can and cannot accomplish. People are surprised to discover that ISFZs have an active "idea factory" that is capable of making the kinds of artful associations and rearrangements of facts that form the basis of all good humor.
As an ISFZ you expect a great deal from yourself and judge your behavior by tough standards. Setting your goals high, it is rare that you really satisfy your own scrutiny of how you should perform. Being independent--as in not depending upon others--is important to you, but you also have a strong need to feel needed by others. You quickly accept responsibility in any group you join. Look at the bedrock of any organization's officers, founders or chairs of the working committees and ISFZs with their supremely dependable personalities will be found. ISFZs have the personality that establishes, nurtures, and maintains an organization. You need peace, quiet and few interruptions to work most comfortably. Whatever the task, you spend time reflecting before acting and you are in your element when you find work that gives you ample time for contemplation. You are precise, seldom making errors of fact. Others, with less attention to detail, schedules and accuracy strike you as unreliable. While they may thrive on novelty, unwarranted change sometimes makes you feel unsettled. You will be happiest in an unambiguous position, with well-understood expectations, regular hours and predictable activities. With your ISFZ respect for procedures and policies, you can function happily and productively at almost any level of an institutional hierarchy.

Hmmm interesting.
I have actually had a bit of a shift in my personality. I used to be an INFP.
If you would like to know about yours, go here. I'd like to know what your persoanlity profile is... let me know.

Lots of time to think

I have had lots of time to think in the last few days. Mostly because I have been stuck at this house (stupid car) trying to unpack boxes and get my office set up.

Part of the result of this quiet (I have intentionally delayed setting up my TV- partly because we don't have cable anyway, but also because of the following) time has been more Bible study. I've got several little devotional books that people have given me that I never looked at so I've been looking at them.

I have been paying attention to my cousin Luke's blog for the past few weeks. He's had a couple of really interesting posts on the church of Christ. My favorite has been this latest one.
I have also been paying attention to my Dad's blog. I had to show him how to post on it because he forgot. He's been posting a lot lately,though.

The result: I have been thinking about the KJV fanatics and about my personal study ethics. Not that those two are terribly related.

The KJV fanatics really seem more fearful of using other versions than actually convicted that the KJV actually has some serious merit that other versions don't. (does that make sense?) I think it's like Luke's post- much of this is a matter of attitude and focus. The belief that the KJV has some sort of major edge over other versions has always baffled me. No one has really ever been able to explain why- until i read a wikipedia article on it. Although the nutrality of the article is apparently in dispute, it seems to explain the details a lot better than any actual human being I've ever met. I was in a devotional not too long ago and we were talking about bible study. There were several people present who got really nervous when people talked about using several versions of the bible to study at the same time. They couldn't explain why, but they didn't like the idea of using any version but the KJV.

Shouldn't you be able to explain why?

Speaking of which - I've decided that I should be spending more time in Bible study as part of my New Year's resolutition to be more balanced. I have a lot fo time to myself now and I think that balace will have to include some type of social outlet and more spiritual outlets. Hopefully this will make it possible to get some work done on my book...

Chara