Several years ago I stumbled onto a website called Flylady. At the time I got super excited because I was working at home and I felt overwhelmed and trapped. Our little house was truly tiny and it was often too much trouble for me to leave after work... so I didn't. Looking back, I was probably depressed and my house reflected that. boxes were never unpacked. My room wasn't clean, and dishes weren't done. I spent a lot of time online doing nothing of any value.
And then I found Flylady...
In short, she shows you how to get your act together, and how to stop feeling guilty. In some ways it seems a little hokey and at first I was a little embarrassed. Then i noticed that I felt better about myself when i had a routine. I am not a naturally neat person (Tara got that gene) and I'm not naturally organized or very disciplined- so she showed me how.
Over the years I've been on and off with her program. I feel more balanced when i am on, but it usually only lasts a few weeks and then I crash and burn. I could never figure out why until yesterday.
Did you notice in there how she said that she got overwhelmed with the cards? I've done that. I've done the cards, I've done flylady, I've done a notebook, I've done everything I can think of. In the end, I just fly by the seat of my pants with little or no planning and a constant feeling of panic. It's silly and dumb for a 30 year old woman to feel this way all the time.
This isn't about flylady. It's about me. I try to do it all at the same time and it doesn't work out right and I get frustrated and quit.
So I asked myself this morning (yes, I know it's the 4th of January) what I wanted to accomplish this year. I knew that instantly. I want to feel less panicked and more in control. So instead of implementing some major new system, or even going back to Flylady, I'm going to take her advice. One thing at a time. Sort of.
See there's another thing I want. I want to start taking better care of myself. I spend so much time taking care of other people that I let myself get run down and tired and frazzled. I don't spend enough time with God, or by myself, and that is why I feel like I'm going 90 MPH all day long until I just collapse.
So what are my goals? For now, My goals are to do the following every day:
1. Shine my sink.
This is the same thing you saw in that video I posted. She's right. A clean sink makes me feel so much better. My least favorite chore is to do the dishes and if my sink is shining, there is no looming, nasty chore waiting for me.
2. Sit down and journal with a cup of tea at the end of every day.
I've gotten into a habit of sitting in bed and checking facebook after the kids are asleep, and I think it destroys my ability to stop thinking when I get into bed at night. So instead, I want to take some time to really reflect on my day, read my Bible and drink a little tea just before bed. I think it will be a good way to take care of myself and get into the mood to sleep.
Silly? Stupid? Not grand enough? Maybe, but it is accomplishable, which is more than I can say for some of my past resolutions. My goal is to reevaluate in a month, and if I can add something to this, so be it.