I should be preparing for class (rereading my notes- the powerpoint is done and I am loathe to give a quiz on a day when I almost cancelled class), or taking a bath, or just crawling under the covers to be ready for tomorrow. So, why am I not doing one of those things?
Lets back up to a day some months ago when I was on the phone with a storyteller who was doing an interview with me for Storytelling Magazine. After I got off the phone I realized that I had an entire conversation to justify the complete lack of storytelling in my life right now. And yet I am still paying the student loans and pretending that this is not the case.
It was on that day that I realized I was truly lame.
Why wasn't I involved with storytelling in Oklahoma? There's a story slam here in OKC once a month. There are all sorts of events going on around the state and even fairly close. And what am I doing...? Jack Squat! Using my kids as an excuse not to get involved and not to develop myself into something that could lead to a professional experience of any sort.
So, I'm tired of being lame. I'm going to the OKC Storytelling Festival tomorrow to attend some of the workshops and get to know some of the local storytellers. At the very least I will get to hear from some very talented storytellers.
And here I am, the night before, staying up too late.
Truth? I'm kinda nervous. I'm going to be taking Sweet Caroline (no way around this since I am her source of sustenance) and I'm going to have to drive back and forth to teach my class tomorrow. I'm going to have to meet people I don't know and try not to feel like an idiot. I'm going to have to hope that these people didn't read the article about me in SM and see straight through it to the fact that I am LAME.
But at least I'm doing something, right?