Saturday, August 19

See you later...

So I'm back from Oklahoma City. It was a longer trip than I had hoped it would be. A hard one.

I have never been good at goodbyes- I cry or I avoid them altogether. Leaving Oklahoma has always been really hard, mostly because we have so much family there and because it was the consistent place that we went when everything else might change from year to year. Most people don't think the idea of yellow, stubby grass and a flat landscape are really all that attractive. It makes me homesick.

Last Sunday I said goodbye to my Granny. I said the thank-you's that I had always left unspoken before. And I said I'd see her later. I will.

This summer has been extremely stressful. Something I always thought I would love with pure abandonment became the bain of my existence, and I discovered that I need to be around people more than I thought I did. But- my husband and I have found a good way to talk and I've learned a lot about who I want to be (I'm a long way from being that person, but... babysteps)... And now, saying goodbye to my childhood home.

So the urge to make my own home as solid as possible has become so strong that it chokes me up when I think about it. I don't like to drift.

There is always an up after a down, but you have to climb a steep hill to get there.

1 comment:

Meredith said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I know that I'm not ready to loose either of my grandmother's yet, and I can't even imagine how you feel. I'm there for you in spirit, even though I can't be there for you in body.