Mad Scramble

Have you ever tried to stand on a teeter totter? If you stand in the middle it will balance itself out, but if you inch out of the middle you will probbaly fall off, much less create unbalance. In real life, though, there are other people and things on the teeter-totter that are constantly shifting and changing. It's hard to maintain you balance with the other things contantly shifting- unless you are perfectly aligned to the middle of the tetter-totter.

This is the metaphor that I have been trying to reconcile my life to all year. It seems that every tme I try to compensate for the shifting of the things around me, I am drawn further away from that center that keeps my from falling and knocking my own teeth out. Lovely image...

So I have made a descision about the destination I am trying to reach. I am focusing on that destination so I don't get myself seasick from the constant movement all around me, and I am trying not to allow myself to be drawn out of that center.

I haven't posted in a few days because my focus drew me away. I have been working for 7 or 8 hours a day and doing a practicum in a Kindergarten class for four hours in the mornings. All of this without consulting my boss first. I talked to her today and she is okay with the arrangement, but to be honest I am not very concerned with her opinion. I was going to take the time one way or another. My Job seems to be the one thing that is distracting me from the center more than any other thing.

So what is the center? Everyone's life has a center- like a sweet spot in a concert hall, you have to stand in just the right place to hear and feel it. It's a quiet place where, if you could, you would be able to rest and focus and make objective descisions and observations because truth is magnified, recognized and cherished there. The Hairiness of life makes that a very small place.

Gods is a part of it. To truly hear his desire for you- and to be able to recognize the intentions behind those desires can only come when we reach the center.

Listening to your instinct is another part of it. This is something that i think we often do not validate enough. When we know truth- even inarticulate truth- and ignore it, we reject a part of ourselves.

Contentment is another part of it. Recognizing that you are someplace in life, and that place is good enough for the moment.

I don't know what else- They are the things that draw us to the center, but they are hard to express.

Chara