|This pretty much sums it up.|
I still vividly remember a day when Caroline was about 2 weeks old when I just needed out of the house. Things had been going really well, but I hadn't been anywhere alone with my two children, and I was thinking a short trip to the library or Target might cheer me up and get me past that hump. But you know how stuff goes when they are so little- first she fell asleep and then she pooped and I had to change her clothes, and then she pooped again, and I had to change her clothes, again...
Pretty soon is was two o'clock in the afternoon and I was calling my Mom crying. I was frustrated and hormonal and really tired of being in my house. My Mom came over and reminded me that I was going to have to be flexible for a while.
For a long time I thought I was a Type B personality. I blame this entirely on my twin sister, whose OCD leanings frequently made me think I was laid back when I am really just as much of a control freak as anyone else. Just because I don't care if my shoes are straight, doesn't mean I'm not (at times) unreasonably uptight about some things. I like things to fit in their little boxes. I like to be on time and organized.
Being flexible is not the easiest thing in the world when you want to be in control.
After Caroline was born I was sort of shocked at how much more difficult it was. It was only one extra little person who couldn't even move themselves... how hard could it be? But seriously, it was one extra person who couldn't even move themselves. On top of that, the real difficulties were often because of Jonah. Suddenly, he wasn't sleeping, and he was throwing tantrums like you wouldn't believe. In public. It was certainly a big change for all of us, but for Jonah it was exceptionally difficult. He had lost all control of everything. It took a while for him to be okay with the changes, and there are still times when he will copy Caroline because she doesn't get in trouble for things that he isn't allowed to do.
I can relate, though. As frustrated as I have gotten with him at various times over the last year, part of me has never forgotten that he is still just adjusting to a complete shift in the balance of things.
How do you expect the unexpected? How do you prepare for the thing you didn't know to prepare for?
It's the thing I've been telling myself a lot for the past few weeks. I am expecting the unexpected. It's poor timing, and sooner than I would have wanted in any scenario, but just because it's unexpected and just because it required a major mental rebalance, and just because it changes some serious life plans, doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Change is good, I keep telling myself.
And just in case you were wondering... January 14th.