Saturday, April 9

The Magical Secret

In South Carolina, 6 months pregnant with Jonah.
I recently took a look at my personality profile and all I could think was... well, yeah.  I guess it can be hard to see yourself truthfully at times, but when it is spelled out, very clearly, right in front of you, it's hard to ignore.

One aspect of myself that I hadn't really noticed (but didn't surprise me) was my tendency to constantly try to improve myself, my relationships, my situation... basically everything in my life.  It's taken me years to truly admit to myself that I'm never going to read a book, or talk to another person and have them impart to me The Magical Secret.

What is The Magical Secret?  It's the thing that makes everything perfect and right.  If only we all operated according to The Magical Secret we would never lose our tempers with one another, we would not burn dinner, our homes would be immaculate and we would never want things that we should not have.  I don't know The Magical Secret, which is why I am overweight, don't have enough time and disorganized.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

I am starting to understand that life is not perfect, and I cannot make it so.  Relationships are messy, people forgetful, circumstances unpredictable... And it's okay.

The secret isn't magical, and it's not even really a secret.  The secret is that life is perfect when we are content.  Life is perfect when we are joyful.  Life is perfect when we are able to forgive ourselves and others for not being perfect.

1 comment:

Rose Arrowsmith DeCoux said...

This reminds me of something I read in "The Heroine's Journey" about how a very feminine strength is standing in that in-between space (here: in-between the ideal and the reality). It is the ability to hold that tension and not be pulled apart by it--to have faith and have faith and have faith without knowing how things will work out--to long for The Magic Secret and also be fully compassionate with yourself and everything/one in your life.

I'm glad to have some more posts of yours to read.