Tuesday, April 18
I have been thinking alot lately about where I am going in my life. I feel comfortable with who I am and where I am going (wherever that may be) but I also wonder about myself as well. I wonder if I am really living intentionally (thanks Ms. Dekraii, for planting that seed) or if I am living a reactionary life. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder why I didn't take more control over my own direction. I tend to be very passive and very accomodating- which has it's place- but I think sometimes the things I really want in life seem just beyond my reach- and I am too afraid to stretch myself. If i am completely honest, I decided not to finish my degree as an educator because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to deal with the paperwork and the extra requirements that being a teacher requires. I have no fear of being able to teach or guide- I know how to do that- what I am afraid of is not being capable of the politics and paperwork.
How rediculous. I have worked at NSN for almost a year and there is so much paper and politics that i get ill sometimes. I am perfectly capable of dealing with it.
So I talked to my husband and my mom and myself and to God and I think that I'm going to stretch myself a little bit. It's sort of like Yoga- you stretch and find your balance.