What have I gotten myself into??

I'm a teacher now. It happened Monday. All the kids showed up and I suddenly realized that I was supposed to- and am- a teacher. Whether I like it or not.

So far it's not so bad. It's true, teachers complain a lot. Today the 7th grade team sat around during our planning period sorting through forms and we talked about some
issues." Mr. Melagrana is already composing his letter to Oprah (or Dr. Phil) about our icky facilities. We made suggestions for things he might photograph or bottle to send to her to prove that this school needs a nice infusion of a couple million dollars. Tomorrow they might be turning the air conditioning off in the rooms that actually have air conditioning that work, so they can fix it in the rooms that don't.

Have I mentioned that I am 7 1/2 months pregnant? Or that Nashville is having one serious heat wave with temperatures over 100 degrees?? Or that my feet have started swelling up like sausages when I get really hot???

I'm taking a cooler to school tomorrow. I might put my sausage toes in it.

But then there is the good stuff. Like the students who don't have my class who want to know everything about me and always say hello to me in the hallway. I think they are hoping I'll name my baby after them. Too bad they're all girls. We could use the name help. (that's a WHOLE other post.)

Or the kid in class today who was trying to fill out a form so he can get his physical tomorrow. He calls me over and asks me what a menstrual cycle is. I told him he didn't need to worry about it- it was a girl thing. He just looked at me and goes, "Oh, like periods are girl things?"
hee hee.

I know it's hard- I still haven't found all of the parts of my curriculum, my kids hate the weird curriculum anyway, and I haven't written anything in my gradebook yet because I know my entire home room class could change anyway. I'm tired and I haven't been getting home until 5:30.

But I like it. I would like it better is Oprah would send us a couple thousand dollars for a copy machine that works, or if we had another reading teacher (since they decided to save money and not hire one since the one they hired quit)... but I like it.

As seen on Craigslist

Free Couch

10 year-old (at least) couch, was inexpensive when bought (at the $399 sofa store) has survived birds, dogs, stains and is now outside under a tarp. I have no idea why you would want this, but should you be interested in a crap couch and want to pick it up yourself (no deliveries), drop me a line. I guess it could be fixed with some upholstering, or perhaps could be pimped out and wheels added to make it into a couch-car or something.

Quick note, after the last time posting free stuff: I will not meet you, I do not want to donate to your charity, I am not paying you to haul off something, if you expect this to be some sort of gold mine couch you are sadly mistaken. This just made me laugh really hard. I want to know if anyone actually came and got the couch.

Bag full o' Beauty

Bag of misc hair/beauty products. Most are atleast 3/4 full or used once. 10+ different things. Please don't ask for a list of exactly what I have, I don't have time for that.

Please respond with a pick up time. If not picked up TODAY these will go to the garbage men in the morning.

I know that they are garbage men, but I still don't think they want used shampoo and beauty products either.

i want gargoyles or evil looking things

im looking for gargoyles or evil looking statues i got a used woodstove or skylights or windows or belly dancer castanets to trade let me know or anything that has to do with witchcraft.

Um... What?

It's not you. It's me- really!

I am currently 30 weeks along in my pregnancy. I've sort of hit the point where I'm shocked to realize that this is actually going to end... soon. 10 more weeks of feeling like a beached whale when I try to get out of bed, or of feeling like I've got to pee worse than anything in the world, only to be rather disappointed with yet another unsatisfying experience.

I've put it off, really. I've been lying to myself for quite some time. But recently I met a really nice teacher at a week-long workshop who encouraged me to tell the truth. Plus there was this very interesting Mom-101 post not long ago that made me realize that the truth was actually long overdue.

I'm not very excited about my doctor. In fact, almost every time I've been to the office I feel like I'm being "processed", instead of "taken care of". For about two or three weeks I've been telling Josh that maybe I should change practitioners. Maybe I should switch to Vanderbilt's Midwife office. But I didn't.

I guess part of it is that I'm one of those girls who doesn't want to displease anyone. This is the point where I say that my doctor is really a nice person and it's not personal, it's just that I'm looking for a different kind of care. She's not my type.

Want to know what knocked it over the edge for me? No- she didn't tell me that her Cesarean rate was 45%. No- she didn't casually mention her love of strapping mothers to a birthing table, on their backs so she could sedate them better. No- she didn't even tell me that she thought natural childbirth was for crazies....

She told me I would have to have an IV or a Heparin Line.

Now, I could go into all the reasons that my very open-minded childbirth books have given why IV's are bad and why heparin lines are even completely unnecessary, or why extra procedures in childbirth are really more for the doctors than the mothers... but I'd be smoke screening my true feelings and I'm telling the truth for once. I hate needles of any kind.

I'm sure this comes as a shock to many of you. I gave blood once. It was after 9-11 and I felt sort of obligated, so I got my Family and Marraige Therapy teacher from Freed to go with me. He was very kind and talked me through the whole thing. It lasted about 20 minutes and they gave me cookies when I was done. I don't think there is anything you could bribe me with to get me to spend hours (because childbirth isn't short) with an IV or Heparin line stuck in my arm or (shudder!) hand.

It's not just needles. I don't really like taking medicine, or going to the doctor for any reason- so it should probably not come as a surprise to anyone that I am pretty scared of giving birth. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has ever been uncertain and a little frightened of the unknown and daunting task of actually birthing a child. There are so many possible complications and scary stories. Why does everyone insist on telling you their terrifying birth stories when they find out you're pregnant???

So to remedy my fear- or at least attempt to logically argue with the fear and assert some measure of control, I've been reading. Reading everything I can get my hands on and taking classes in natural childbirth with my husband who has (also no surprise) been overwhelmingly supportive. He even gave me a massage the other night.

But then there's this doctor thing. I don't want to feel like I'm stepping onto the conveyor belt at the maternity ward door. A factory approach isn't the answer to everything. I want to feel like I have someone who understands my need to control my own fear and my own body so I can do this without completely freaking out. So far I think I may have spent the grand total of 45 minutes with my doctor.

So I called an cancelled my next appointment with her. I've got an appointment scheduled to see a midwife in two weeks (actually before the next appointment I would have had with my OB anyway) and I've got to send a request, in writing to have my records sent to the midwife.

Who knew I'd be requested to break up with her in a letter?

Chara